P . O . N . Y .

Planning and Organization Needs You!
It is currently Thu Nov 23, 2017 11:46 am

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 9:42 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2013 3:42 pm
Posts: 33
Self Expression and Cooperation require a social contract to make our event a safe place to play. These rules apply to everyone regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. Remember that not everyone wants your attention so be courteous and always ask for consent.

While we strive to make PDF a safe place for everyone, assumptions can be made (sometimes from those who have never been to a Burn before) about what is acceptable and what is not. The following are PDFs stance on consent and “best practices” for protecting yourself and others.

- NO always means NO. Only YES means YES. Get an enthusiastic YES before proceeding with anything that might infringe on someone else's boundaries.

- After someone has said NO, cajoling, pleading, or any form of emotional blackmail is UNACCEPTABLE.

- Before you assume someone wants your physical attentions, ASK. Being direct is OK. This includes anything from hugs, spankings, kissing, etc. Some people do not want to be touched, and that should be respected. Asking is expected protocol, and sexier than you might think. Not respecting these boundaries can be considered sexual assault, and will not be tolerated at the event.

- Respect the moment. Comfort levels vary at different times and with different people. Even if a person seems comfortable with one person touching them does not mean they are ok with everyone touching them.

- If you’re not sure if what you’re about to do is ok, either where you are, or who you are with, ask. Not everything is a good idea everywhere.

- Being under the influence is not an excuse for infringing on others boundaries. Consider your level of sobriety. Are you able to ask permission and respect an others boundaries?

- Don't hesitate to check in with others around you. If someone looks uncomfortable, don't be afraid to say hello and ask how they're doing.

- If you are uncomfortable, ask for help. We are a tight knit community and look out for each other. Look around - are there friends close by? Theme camps? Random people walking around? Let them know that you aren’t comfortable in the current situation.

- Rangers are trained in mediation techniques and can diffuse any number of situations. In addition, if there is a violation of your boundaries, Rangers can intervene and will keep a log of the incident in case the offending party continues this type of behavior. Assault or repeated harassment may lead to ejection from the event; reporting incidents helps us spot predators. Rangers are the cool kids walking around in khaki with walkie talkies. TIP: You can say that you would rather wait until you both have your full judgment before doing anything you may regret later.

- Practice saying YES as well as no. We know it can be challenging to communicate your feelings or boundaries verbally. And no one should assume they understand someone else body language. Being clear about what you want or don’t want can help avoid situations where boundaries are being violated.

- Remember, respecting personal boundaries includes taking pictures or video, as well as physical and verbal interaction.

_________________
Dove aka Starfish
--------------------
PDF BOD
PortalBurn BOD
Burning Man Regional Contact - Upstate NY 1/3


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Mar 13, 2015 1:50 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon May 06, 2013 5:57 pm
Posts: 2
I appreciate that as a community, pdf, is taking this issue seriously and is working towards keeping everyone safe. I think there are a lot of important ideas in the proposed revisions. I have a couple suggestions for the group to consider.

1. I think it might be important to clarify and perhaps offer some sort of definition for consent. If there is going to be a stance on consent and best practices it seems like we should be clear about what that word means. Some universities use language similar to this “Consent is an affirmative, unambiguous, and conscious decision by each participant to engage in mutually agreed-upon sexual activity. The consent has to be ongoing throughout any sexual encounter.” If we want it to be broader than sexual activity it could certainly be altered.

2. I really like the bullet points that are currently listed, but think the information might benefit from being organized into different categories. I would suggest the following headings
Verbal consent
Communicating your own boundaries and desires
Asking consent from the other party
When boundaries aren’t respected
Your boundaries are crossed
You think someone else’s boundaries are being crossed

3. The bullet point that mentions you needing to be sober enough to consent is great, but I think we should add in something about the other person(s) also being able to consent. This means they cannot be under the influence or underage.

4. It might be worth mentioning that a Yes can turn into a No at anytime and that needs to be respected. You or the other person don’t have to go along with something even if it was previously agreed on. If you change your mind you should speak up and if someone else changes their mind you should act in accordance with that new boundary.

5. The tip in the Rangers section doesn’t really seem to relate to the rest of that paragraph. Maybe it should be separate point.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2015 5:12 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2013 3:42 pm
Posts: 33
Okay I'm trying to incorporate your feedback. The "TIP" part I think was just leftover from something else, so I moved it. Also, you had mentioned reorganization of categories; would you be willing to copy this post and repost it with the categories as you think it should read? I agree with you, I'm just not seeing right now how to better organize them.

Updates below:

Self Expression and Cooperation require a social contract to make our event a safe place to play. These rules apply to everyone regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. Remember that not everyone wants your attention so be courteous and always ask for consent.

What do we mean by consent? Consent is an affirmative, unambiguous, and conscious decision by each participant to engage in mutually agreed-upon activity. The consent has to be ongoing throughout any encounter. While consent is generally spoken about in terms of sexual activity, it extends beyond this at PDF - we apply the same guidelines to taking pictures of others, hugging, entering a camps private space, etc.

While we strive to make PDF a safe place for everyone, assumptions can be made (sometimes from those who have never been to a Burn before) about what is acceptable and what is not. The following is PDFs stance on consent and “best practices” for protecting yourself and others.

- NO always means NO. Only YES means YES. Get an enthusiastic YES before proceeding with anything that might infringe on someone else's boundaries.

- After someone has said NO, cajoling, pleading, or any form of emotional blackmail is UNACCEPTABLE.

- YES can turn into a NO at anytime and that needs to be respected. You or the other person don’t have to go along with something, even if it was previously agreed on. If you change your mind you should speak up, and if someone else changes their mind you should act in accordance with that new boundary.

- Before you assume someone wants your physical attentions, ASK. Being direct is OK. This includes anything from hugs, spankings, kissing, etc. Some people do not want to be touched, and that should be respected. Asking is expected protocol, and sexier than you might think. Not respecting these boundaries can be considered sexual assault, and will not be tolerated at the event.

- Respect the moment. Comfort levels vary at different times and with different people. Even if a person seems comfortable with one person touching them does not mean they are ok with everyone touching them.

- If you’re not sure if what you’re about to do is ok, either where you are, or who you are with, ask. Not everything is a good idea everywhere.

- Being under the influence is not an excuse for infringing on others boundaries. Consider your level of sobriety. Are you able to ask permission and respect an others boundaries? Consider the other persons level of sobriety. Are they able to give consent? TIP: You can say that you would rather wait until you both have your full judgment before doing anything you may regret later.

- Don't hesitate to check in with others around you. If someone looks uncomfortable, don't be afraid to say hello and ask how they're doing.

- If you are uncomfortable, ask for help. We are a tight knit community and look out for each other. Look around - are there friends close by? Theme camps? Random people walking around? Let them know that you aren’t comfortable in the current situation.

- Rangers are trained in mediation techniques and can diffuse any number of situations. In addition, if there is a violation of your boundaries, Rangers can intervene and will keep a log of the incident in case the offending party continues this type of behavior. Assault or repeated harassment may lead to ejection from the event; reporting incidents helps us spot predators. Rangers are the cool kids walking around in khaki with walkie talkies.

- Practice saying YES as well as no. We know it can be challenging to communicate your feelings or boundaries verbally. And no one should assume they understand someone else body language. Being clear about what you want or don’t want can help avoid situations where boundaries are being violated.

- Remember, respecting personal boundaries includes taking pictures or video, as well as physical and verbal interaction.

_________________
Dove aka Starfish
--------------------
PDF BOD
PortalBurn BOD
Burning Man Regional Contact - Upstate NY 1/3


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group